Episode 2

full
Published on:

8th Oct 2024

Wedding Ceremony Readings - Dos, Don'ts and Examples

Welcome to I'll Marry You, a podcast by Olivia Coleman: full of tips and tricks from the UK wedding scene, interviews with industry experts, and a WHOLE LOT of oversharing!

In this episode, I'm going to talk to you about having readings at your ceremony - some dos, some don'ts, but also some EXAMPLE READINGS OF SOME OF MY FAVOURITES!

That's right, you're getting a selection of dramatic readings direct to your ears, and you have my blessing to just snip them out of this recording and play them over speakers in your ceremony if that's what you really want to do. Although I'd rather you got a friend to do it live. Actually I'd rather you paid me to do it live, but we live in an imperfect world.

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If you're interested in having me join your wedding journey as your celebrant, or if you want any more information on what I do you can find more exciting details on my website: www.oliviacolemancelebrant.co.uk.

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Production Information

Produced and Edited by Drew Toynbee.

Drew is a freelance digital content creator, editor and performer, hosting, producing and editing podcasts, audio and video content for clients across the UK, recording voiceovers for businesses and narrating audiobooks. Find him on Threads or at his website drewtoynbee.com

Music: Mr Sunny Face by Wayne Jones

Mentioned in this episode:

Filmedonphones

This episode is sponsored by filmedonphones. Your wedding, filmed on phones by loved ones, edited by us. Our platform makes it easy to film your own wedding by guiding your guests and gathering their footage. The end result is a fun DIY wedding video, made collaboratively with your friends and family. Visit www.filmedonphones.com to find out more, or listen to our episode with Ollie!

Transcript
Olivia Colman:

Welcome to I'll marry you a podcast with me, Olivia Colman, full of tips and tricks from the UK wedding scene, interviews with industry experts, and a whole lot of oversharing done.

Olivia Colman:

Life admin is out the way.

Olivia Colman:

I'm moderately comfortable.

Olivia Colman:

Welcome to the podcast.

Olivia Colman:

So does this sound good?

Olivia Colman:

Let's assume it is.

Olivia Colman:

Welcome to another episode of the podcast.

Olivia Colman:

So, outside, I'm gonna whisper this, because I'm recording in my living room, and literally right outside my living room window on the road is a carpentry company.

Olivia Colman:

Well, actually, I can tell you what they are because I can see the van bespoke joinery in carpentry, kitchen insulation, restech, roofing systems, and property management and maintenance.

Olivia Colman:

They are.

Olivia Colman:

I don't know what they're doing.

Olivia Colman:

They're doing something with wood.

Olivia Colman:

It's noisy and it's annoying.

Olivia Colman:

So I apologize to the listeners if, in fact, producer Drew has overestimated his capabilities and is, in fact, unable to edit out the sound of the sporadic saw outside.

Olivia Colman:

How is everyone doing?

Olivia Colman:

How has everyone been for the past seven days?

Olivia Colman:

It's the last episode.

Olivia Colman:

I'm really enjoying this season.

Olivia Colman:

In fact, this very morning, as I record this episode, I have recorded an interview with an industry expert, and I am so excited about it.

Olivia Colman:

I think it's going to be amazing.

Olivia Colman:

It's going to be brilliant.

Olivia Colman:

And I can't wait for that to come out.

Olivia Colman:

That might come out before this.

Olivia Colman:

It might come out after.

Olivia Colman:

I've not got a routine.

Olivia Colman:

I'm busy, you know, I'm busy.

Olivia Colman:

I'm busy working.

Olivia Colman:

I.

Olivia Colman:

I'm busy bringing up my child and Lola, and I'm busy creating human life, aren't I?

Olivia Colman:

So I'm busy.

Olivia Colman:

I'm busy be.

Olivia Colman:

So, I don't know.

Olivia Colman:

I just.

Olivia Colman:

So I seize these opportunities to record when I can, and then I don't know when they're coming out, do I?

Olivia Colman:

Producer drew sorts out all the backstage nonsense.

Olivia Colman:

So on today's episode, we're going to offer a little advice and guidance, and.

Olivia Colman:

God, my chin's big.

Olivia Colman:

This is the downside to recording podcast with video.

Olivia Colman:

I'm gonna have a lot of work done after I've had this baby.

Olivia Colman:

I'm not embarrassed to admit it.

Olivia Colman:

So this week, we're going to talk about readings in your wedding ceremony.

Olivia Colman:

And it's something that I love to talk about because I'm very into readings.

Olivia Colman:

I just like the sound of my own voice.

Olivia Colman:

It's something that I encourage in a wedding ceremony, and it's actually, I think that this episode could be very helpful, because what I've learned recently is that when I'm meeting couples, especially couples, in the initial phone call for celebrancy, I can direct them.

Olivia Colman:

If they've got any queries or questions or they're struggling with anything during the wedding planning process, I can then direct them to a particular episode of the podcast.

Olivia Colman:

So today we're going to talk all about readings, and then at the end of the show, we've got a really exciting RSVP.

Olivia Colman:

So stay tuned, people.

Olivia Colman:

Should we get started?

Olivia Colman:

Let's get started.

Olivia Colman:

Come on, then.

Olivia Colman:

So, first and foremost, if you're listening or watching this episode, I will admit to you that I am going to read the readings off my phone.

Olivia Colman:

You know, I'm a modern girl and also, I couldn't be asked to write them all out.

Olivia Colman:

So my number one rule with readings in wedding ceremonies, do not, I beg of you, read them off your mobile phone or your iPad, or your Kindle or your bloody Apple Watch.

Olivia Colman:

Do not read it off a piece of technology.

Olivia Colman:

It gives can't be asked vibes.

Olivia Colman:

It shows the world and the couple that you quite literally couldn't be bothered to either write it out or print it out.

Olivia Colman:

Now, I know that a lot of people don't have printers at home because either they don't work at home or they're Gen Z.

Olivia Colman:

And the idea of wasting paper and killing the universe is, frankly, ghastly.

Olivia Colman:

I do have a printer because I'm old school.

Olivia Colman:

But, you know, your library, your local library, your mom, your nan, your gran, your office, go into a bloody shop.

Olivia Colman:

I don't know.

Olivia Colman:

There's people out there.

Olivia Colman:

There's printers out there for having sake.

Olivia Colman:

Printing out, printing out.

Olivia Colman:

A lot of my couples will print out the readings for the readers and they'll put them into a nice pamphlet, if you will, or a leaflet or a booklet of some kind so they will look pretty when they're stood up there reading.

Olivia Colman:

If you have the foresight, brides and grooms, to do that.

Olivia Colman:

That's the ideal, actually, because then it's.

Olivia Colman:

It's cohesive with the stationery, perhaps, with the order of service.

Olivia Colman:

Everything's very seamless, you know, it shows you've really put thought and effort into it.

Olivia Colman:

So, as the couple getting married, if you have the foresight to do it, then I do recommend printing out the readings, putting them into something that looks pretty, and then giving them to the reader on the day of the wedding, not too soon.

Olivia Colman:

You can give them to me as your celebrant.

Olivia Colman:

I can keep the booklet.

Olivia Colman:

But I can also.

Olivia Colman:

I do normally print out the reading and just put it within the ceremony because worst case scenario, the readers.

Olivia Colman:

Forget it.

Olivia Colman:

Do not read your reading off a mobile phone.

Olivia Colman:

I cannot stress it enough.

Olivia Colman:

Consider who is reading.

Olivia Colman:

So quite a few of my couples, because I really encourage at least one reading in a ceremony, quite a few of my couples will say, we don't know who to ask.

Olivia Colman:

We don't have anyone to ask.

Olivia Colman:

You don't have to have a reading?

Olivia Colman:

Absolutely not.

Olivia Colman:

You can do what you want.

Olivia Colman:

But I do think that at least one is good because it just breaks up the sound of my voice.

Olivia Colman:

And it also, I think, unsurprisingly to you all, I'm sure, I think that being asked to read at someone's wedding is an honor and it's giving someone a job and a role that perhaps is they're not in the wedding party or perhaps they're an auntie or a cousin or a friend that doesn't have another job to do.

Olivia Colman:

And you know that they're the kind of people that they like jobs to do.

Olivia Colman:

It makes them feel important and special.

Olivia Colman:

You know, they like the fact that at the drinks reception, people come up and go, oh, lovely reading, Carol.

Olivia Colman:

Oh, thank you so much.

Olivia Colman:

Yeah, really.

Olivia Colman:

You know, I was so nervous, but thank you so much.

Olivia Colman:

They like the attention, don't they?

Olivia Colman:

Baffles me.

Olivia Colman:

Of course, when you think about who you're going to ask to do it, nine times out of ten, unsurprisingly, the ideal would be to ask someone who enjoys public speaking and who is good at it.

Olivia Colman:

But, and you might be surprised to learn out of your friends who are good at it, if they do it for a job, they're used to it.

Olivia Colman:

It's not a big deal to them.

Olivia Colman:

And to be asked to do a reading is fine.

Olivia Colman:

Yeah, cool, whatever.

Olivia Colman:

That's great.

Olivia Colman:

Thank you so much.

Olivia Colman:

Some people are absolutely terrified and it's not kind to make people do it if they are terrified of public speaking because they'll just dread it.

Olivia Colman:

And to be honest, even though it is at the beginning of the wedding day, so they can fully enjoy the rest of the day, still, they're going to be dreading it for weeks beforehand.

Olivia Colman:

The readers at my own wedding, man, and James is my own, were.

Olivia Colman:

We had two readings and one of them was a dear family friend of ours who is basically like an auntie to me.

Olivia Colman:

She's one of my mum's best friends.

Olivia Colman:

She's one of my best friends.

Olivia Colman:

Her name is Janice and she's really important to me, and I wanted her to have a job to do.

Olivia Colman:

I wanted her to give her something to do because I want.

Olivia Colman:

It was my way of saying, you're important to me, and I want you to be.

Olivia Colman:

Be a part of my wedding day.

Olivia Colman:

Not just another guest, but, like, you're special.

Olivia Colman:

Special.

Olivia Colman:

Janice.

Olivia Colman:

What she didn't tell me.

Olivia Colman:

She was like, yeah, of course I will.

Olivia Colman:

What she didn't tell me until after the fact was that she hates public speaking.

Olivia Colman:

So I didn't know, but I knew she'd be good.

Olivia Colman:

And she was.

Olivia Colman:

She was brilliant.

Olivia Colman:

And she read a religious reading because we got married in a church, not a celebrate, blah, blah, blah.

Olivia Colman:

And then the other reader was producer Drew, can you believe?

Olivia Colman:

Because producer Drew and I have known each other for 15 years, and actually, I haven't written down his reading to read to you today, but I'm looking at it because as a wedding present, Drew and his wife, gorgeous m, had a friend of theirs create.

Olivia Colman:

Well, they sort of roped out the reading into a.

Olivia Colman:

Onto a piece of paper that they then frame, but with illustrations and things.

Olivia Colman:

I'll show you a picture of it on the YouTube channel and also on socials.

Olivia Colman:

And that was a non religious reading.

Olivia Colman:

And producer Drew and I met at university studying performing arts.

Olivia Colman:

So there was obviously no question that producer Drew would be more than happy to share the limelight with me for a few minutes.

Olivia Colman:

And that was really nice, because that was even though Drew Washington at uni with me, we lived together at uni, and James and I had been together all of uni.

Olivia Colman:

So actually, he was a mutual friend, so he produced.

Olivia Colman:

Drew was, like, younger, our friend, and then Auntie Janice, we actually call her Raven.

Olivia Colman:

She was sort of a different generation, an older family friend who was so important to me and had become important to James.

Olivia Colman:

And I took ages finding the readings because I love reading and I love poetry, and I love looking into all that.

Olivia Colman:

And it was appropriate because we were.

Olivia Colman:

It was a church service.

Olivia Colman:

We had one religious reading and one non religious reading.

Olivia Colman:

Neither of them were particularly long, maybe two or three minutes each.

Olivia Colman:

And it was lovely, and I'm really glad I did it.

Olivia Colman:

So I always encourage people to do readings, and I always encourage people to choose a guest to read that won't be totally mortified by the whole experience, and we'll see it as the honor that I think that it is.

Olivia Colman:

If you choose a bridesmaid to perform a reading at your ceremony, bear in mind the odds are their bridesmaids dress ain't gonna have pockets.

Olivia Colman:

So therefore, someone needs to have that reading, whether that is me, your celebrant, because no one else is there, or whether the groom has it or the best man has it, or you put it in their seat, their reserved seat, or their partner has it or something like that.

Olivia Colman:

You want to make sure that the readers have their readings and that they're comfortable with what they're reading.

Olivia Colman:

Don't give it.

Olivia Colman:

Don't give them their reading on the day of the wedding.

Olivia Colman:

That's happened to me before.

Olivia Colman:

One of my very best friends.

Olivia Colman:

She's such a minx.

Olivia Colman:

I think I've spoken about her before.

Olivia Colman:

I'm gonna name and shame her.

Olivia Colman:

Her name is Jessica.

Olivia Colman:

One of my best friends in the entire world.

Olivia Colman:

She was one of my bridesmaids, and I am godmother to her daughter.

Olivia Colman:

And it was but the morning.

Olivia Colman:

No, the night before the christening that Jess chose to.

Olivia Colman:

Oh, by the way, you're doing a reading.

Olivia Colman:

I mean, obviously, she's known me 20 plus years.

Olivia Colman:

She knows that you can give me a reading the night before, and it's fine.

Olivia Colman:

But anyone else would hack their pants.

Olivia Colman:

I thought it was, you know, fine.

Olivia Colman:

But she literally was like, yeah, by the way, you're doing a reading.

Olivia Colman:

I was like, okay, cool, cool, great.

Olivia Colman:

I think I read it through twice in my head.

Olivia Colman:

I didn't even practice it out loud, and then I read it, and it was fine.

Olivia Colman:

But that's, you know, I'm trained and also a wanker, by all accounts.

Olivia Colman:

Don't give it to people the day before or the morning of, because it is.

Olivia Colman:

That's.

Olivia Colman:

That's just not kind, is it?

Olivia Colman:

Whether they're professional or not, it's.

Olivia Colman:

It's.

Olivia Colman:

It's not kind.

Olivia Colman:

When people come to me and they say, we can't find a reading.

Olivia Colman:

Like you, Liv, you've told us that we should have a reading.

Olivia Colman:

And we get it.

Olivia Colman:

We understand it, but we can't find one that speaks to us, which I get.

Olivia Colman:

There are so many out there.

Olivia Colman:

There are so, so, so many out there.

Olivia Colman:

And the beauty of the celebrant ceremony is because there are no rules or limitations.

Olivia Colman:

It can be any kind of reading that you want.

Olivia Colman:

It doesn't even, in theory, have to be a reading reading.

Olivia Colman:

It could be like a little speech, but it can be religious.

Olivia Colman:

It can be non religious.

Olivia Colman:

It can be rude.

Olivia Colman:

It can be a passage from your favorite novel.

Olivia Colman:

It can be lyrics to a song, but spoken.

Olivia Colman:

It can be anything you want at all.

Olivia Colman:

Anything.

Olivia Colman:

And also, you can start it with a little introduction.

Olivia Colman:

So quite often my couples, if they choose, like an auntie or an uncle or something, they'll quite often, they'll come up and before they start the reading, before they go straight into it, they'll say, you know, this reading was chosen by the bride and groom, and it's about so and so and so and so.

Olivia Colman:

And I'd just like to thank you for having me read this reading because, you know, I love you both and it's an honor to be here and I wish you all the luck in the world.

Olivia Colman:

It can be that.

Olivia Colman:

It can be really personal and really relaxed.

Olivia Colman:

And then at the end of the reading, you can also kind up to the couple and give them a cuddle and say, like, thank you, or whatever.

Olivia Colman:

It doesn't have to be like, you walk up to the lectern, you open the Bible, read a passage and then leave.

Olivia Colman:

Like, it can be really relaxed and fun.

Olivia Colman:

And that all depends on the reading you choose.

Olivia Colman:

And like I say, if you can't find anything that speaks to you, if you're not fussed, don't have a reading.

Olivia Colman:

But if you want one, there's so much choice out there.

Olivia Colman:

So hopefully what I'm going to do is I've picked a tiny portion of options.

Olivia Colman:

I'm literally going to read a few, well, more than a few, but I'm only going to read a small amount to you of the ones that I know and love, and there are so many out there, but I'm going to read them to you, and I hope that that will inspire you.

Olivia Colman:

You can go online, obviously.

Olivia Colman:

I always say to people, the first step is to literally Google wedding readings because that will help you to begin with.

Olivia Colman:

You can then have a discussion about it with your partner and think, okay, are there any songs we like the lyrics of?

Olivia Colman:

Are there any movies that we both love?

Olivia Colman:

One of my first ever ceremonies, the mum was doing a reading.

Olivia Colman:

I think it was the mother of the groom, and the mum chose.

Olivia Colman:

So she must have been in her fifties, sixties, and she chose to read a quote, like a monologue, really, from one Tree hill, which I thought was bloody brilliant.

Olivia Colman:

Like, absolutely.

Olivia Colman:

Why not?

Olivia Colman:

If you think about it, especially us millennials who grew up with the OC and one tree Hill and Dawson's Creek and all the rest of it, those soppy CW american sitcoms, they got reams of monologues about love and life and letting go and all that bollocks.

Olivia Colman:

Who's to say that you can't reenact that or, you know, take.

Olivia Colman:

Take a monologue from the notebook.

Olivia Colman:

Like, honestly, it can be anything you want.

Olivia Colman:

So when people say to me, we can't find one that speaks to us, you just haven't looked hard enough, basically, because the options are endless.

Olivia Colman:

So here are a few possible wedding readings for your ceremony.

Olivia Colman:

I hope you find it helpful.

Olivia Colman:

So when you book with me, I send you out loads of information about how the ceremony usually looks, about the vowels and the ring exchange, and all the wording that I would ordinarily use.

Olivia Colman:

But also I say, you know, this is what we do.

Olivia Colman:

However, if you want to change the wording at any point, that's absolutely fine.

Olivia Colman:

And along with that information are some suggestions of readings.

Olivia Colman:

I put them into different sections, so I'm going to read you a few of these from my own suggestions.

Olivia Colman:

But then also I found some others that I've heard more recently in ceremonies that I just think are fab.

Olivia Colman:

So when I say modern readings, I mean modern, I mean not super duper traditional, old school, not necessarily religious, which I think a lot of my couples, it's very rare.

Olivia Colman:

I would say three or 5% choose a religious reading and I would say 70% choose a modern reading as opposed to a traditional one.

Olivia Colman:

So one of my favorites, which seems a bit silly, but that's the whole point, is a monologue from a movie.

Olivia Colman:

It's actually a song from a movie.

Olivia Colman:

So we're combining two possibilities here.

Olivia Colman:

Something from the tv and something from music.

Olivia Colman:

So it's from the film, the Adam Sandler film, the wedding Singer.

Olivia Colman:

And if you've seen, if you haven't seen it, it's brilliant.

Olivia Colman:

Nineties, early nineties.

Olivia Colman:

And if you have seen it, it's song that he sings on the airplane.

Olivia Colman:

I want to make you smile whenever you are Sadeena carry you around when your arthritis is bad all I want to do is grow old with you.

Olivia Colman:

I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches, build you a fire if the furnace breaks oh, it could be so nice growing old with you.

Olivia Colman:

I'll miss you, kiss you, give you my coat when you are cold, knead you, feed you, even let you hold the remote control so let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink put you to bed if you've had too much to drink I could be the man who grows old with you I want to grow old with you isn't that lush?

Olivia Colman:

So he actually sings it.

Olivia Colman:

I want to make it smell.

Olivia Colman:

I can't remember the song.

Olivia Colman:

So that's a really nice option.

Olivia Colman:

So that's an extract from the movie the wedding singer.

Olivia Colman:

This is a very popular reading.

Olivia Colman:

Very.

Olivia Colman:

Don't be put off by readings you've heard before at weddings.

Olivia Colman:

There's a reason they're popular.

Olivia Colman:

They work.

Olivia Colman:

They're good.

Olivia Colman:

They make sense.

Olivia Colman:

They're easy to read.

Olivia Colman:

The art of marriage by Wilfred a.

Olivia Colman:

Peterson.

Olivia Colman:

A good marriage must be created in the marriage.

Olivia Colman:

The little things are the big things.

Olivia Colman:

It is never being too old to hold hands.

Olivia Colman:

It is remembering to say I love you at least once a day.

Olivia Colman:

It is never going to sleep angry.

Olivia Colman:

It is having a mutual sense of values and objectives.

Olivia Colman:

It is standing together and facing the world.

Olivia Colman:

It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.

Olivia Colman:

It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.

Olivia Colman:

It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.

Olivia Colman:

It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each person can grow.

Olivia Colman:

It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.

Olivia Colman:

It is not only marrying the right person, it is being the right person.

Olivia Colman:

God, I'm really giving this performance gravitas, aren't I?

Olivia Colman:

Another one that a couple that I put on my list that couples quite like.

Olivia Colman:

Because a lot of my couples are like, oh, it's just a bit soppy or it's a bit mushy or whatever.

Olivia Colman:

And they want something that's a bit more fun, you know?

Olivia Colman:

And it's love by Bob Marley.

Olivia Colman:

She's not perfect.

Olivia Colman:

You aren't either.

Olivia Colman:

And the two of you may never be perfect together.

Olivia Colman:

But if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can.

Olivia Colman:

She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break her heart.

Olivia Colman:

So don't hurt her, don't change her.

Olivia Colman:

Don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give.

Olivia Colman:

Smile when she makes you happy.

Olivia Colman:

Let her know when she makes you mad and miss her when she's not there.

Olivia Colman:

Isn't that lush.

Olivia Colman:

I'm just going to keep repeating myself now.

Olivia Colman:

So those are a couple of examples of modern readings.

Olivia Colman:

Gonna find you some more that I found, which I'm really enjoying.

Olivia Colman:

Another, I'll speak at the end of the episode about the delivery.

Olivia Colman:

But it really is all in the delivery, you know?

Olivia Colman:

It really is, because I think how you say it, especially these modern readings.

Olivia Colman:

The more traditional ones and the religious ones kind of are what they are.

Olivia Colman:

But the more modern ones, it's more in the delivery, I think, as to how jovial or how romantic.

Olivia Colman:

You want them to sound.

Olivia Colman:

Yeah.

Olivia Colman:

So this is quite a romantic option.

Olivia Colman:

And this has become very popular in the last six months because obviously, with social media people, you can find people, talented people with all these skills a lot easier than you could before.

Olivia Colman:

And they come to the forefront, and the algorithm brings them into your ether and all the rest of it.

Olivia Colman:

And so there's a poet, a female poet that's come to the forefront, and she's amazing.

Olivia Colman:

And a lot of her readings are being used in my ceremonies at the moment.

Olivia Colman:

And her name is Whitney Hanson.

Olivia Colman:

Always want to say Whitney Houston, but it's not.

Olivia Colman:

She did.

Olivia Colman:

It's Whitney Hanston.

Olivia Colman:

And it's just called wedding poem, which is good.

Olivia Colman:

You would have seen this on Instagram, I'm sure.

Olivia Colman:

They say that sometimes love starts with a spark, and that might be true.

Olivia Colman:

But if I were to wish you a love, I wouldn't wish fire for you.

Olivia Colman:

You see, fire is powerful.

Olivia Colman:

It burns bright, and then it's gone.

Olivia Colman:

It's beautiful and warm, but it doesn't last long.

Olivia Colman:

So instead of wishing you a love that burns, I wish you a love.

Olivia Colman:

Like a river that twists and turns, it changes and it flows.

Olivia Colman:

It is powerful and free, but it consistently finds its way back to the sea.

Olivia Colman:

And so, like the water, I hope your love is ever growing, ever changing.

Olivia Colman:

I hope your love is powerful and free, and may you always find each other like a river finds the sea.

Olivia Colman:

Now that is gorgeous.

Olivia Colman:

That is.

Olivia Colman:

I just love that.

Olivia Colman:

And then this is a reading that I wasn't familiar with until very recently.

Olivia Colman:

One of my couples has chosen it in a ceremony that I've got coming up, and it's called love monkey, which James and I call each other the monkey.

Olivia Colman:

And I feel like that's quite a common nickname for couples.

Olivia Colman:

Love monkey by Edward Monkton.

Olivia Colman:

And I think this is the one that you can read quite breezily.

Olivia Colman:

Is that all sort of thing?

Olivia Colman:

It was once custom that every monkey would carve for himself a wooden hearth.

Olivia Colman:

And the heart that love monkey carved was the most beautiful of all.

Olivia Colman:

Its contours were soft and rounded, like an ancient pebble sculpted by the oceans.

Olivia Colman:

Its surface was smooth and shiny, like liquid silk, and it shone as bright as a ruby in the desert sun.

Olivia Colman:

Take your hearts with you wherever you go, said the teacher.

Olivia Colman:

Nurture them as a mother nurtures her newborn baby.

Olivia Colman:

For when you want to give of yourself fully, your heart is the only true gift you will have.

Olivia Colman:

That night, love monkey had a dream.

Olivia Colman:

He dreamt of a monkey whose smile lit up his soul like sunshine.

Olivia Colman:

He held out his heart to her, so radiant, so splendid, and so new.

Olivia Colman:

She took him in her arms, and he felt truly, perfectly at peace.

Olivia Colman:

When love monkey awoke, he resolved that from that day forward he would search for his dream monkey until he could stand before her and give to her his perfect heart.

Olivia Colman:

He traveled through deserts and climbed over mountains.

Olivia Colman:

He trekked across forests and sailed many oceans.

Olivia Colman:

Love monkey locked.

Olivia Colman:

Sorry.

Olivia Colman:

Love monkey looked after his heart as best he could.

Olivia Colman:

But the storms that he endured on his travels chipped away at its surface, and each new adventure reshaped it.

Olivia Colman:

By the time he arrived on the last distant shore, his heart was so changed by the patina of time that it barely resembled his old heart at all.

Olivia Colman:

And then he saw her standing before him.

Olivia Colman:

As radiant and as beautiful as the sunshine was his dream monkey.

Olivia Colman:

At first, the cold could not speak.

Olivia Colman:

But then, from somewhere deep inside himself, he found a voice.

Olivia Colman:

I have traveled the world over to find you and to give you my heart, he said.

Olivia Colman:

But now that I am finally with you, I see how foolish I have been.

Olivia Colman:

You are so beautiful, so perfect.

Olivia Colman:

And my heart that was once smooth, so bright and so new is now not something that I could even bring myself to show you.

Olivia Colman:

And he turned to go.

Olivia Colman:

Let me see it, said Dream monkey.

Olivia Colman:

She took his heart and held it up to the light.

Olivia Colman:

Nothing to me is more beautiful.

Olivia Colman:

Every inch tells a story.

Olivia Colman:

Every blemish makes you more real.

Olivia Colman:

All my life I have been waiting for a heart like this.

Olivia Colman:

A heart that speaks the truth.

Olivia Colman:

Come here, she said.

Olivia Colman:

I have something for you, too.

Olivia Colman:

In her hand was a tiny golden heart.

Olivia Colman:

It was as worn and as scratched as love monkeys own.

Olivia Colman:

And it was the most precious thing that he had ever seen.

Olivia Colman:

Love monkey put his arms around her, and they held each other for a long, long time.

Olivia Colman:

I shall treasure this heart for as long as I live, said dream monkey, running her fingers over its ridged and dimpled surface.

Olivia Colman:

Then they looked into each other's eyes and feeling the joy of truth in their souls.

Olivia Colman:

For the first time, they began to laugh.

Olivia Colman:

And often they sit together still holding each other's hearts in their warm hands, lifting them to the light and laughing.

Olivia Colman:

Always laughing.

Olivia Colman:

Girl, I love that.

Olivia Colman:

Don't you love that?

Olivia Colman:

Because that's the other thing.

Olivia Colman:

It doesn't have to be like that to me.

Olivia Colman:

Sounds more like you're reading a children's book than you are reading a reading.

Olivia Colman:

Do you know what I mean?

Olivia Colman:

Like, it's the way you deliver.

Olivia Colman:

That, I think, would be.

Olivia Colman:

Oh, bloody hell, mother.

Olivia Colman:

Sod off.

Olivia Colman:

Sorry.

Olivia Colman:

Very unprofessional.

Olivia Colman:

I'll call her back.

Olivia Colman:

Don't we?

Olivia Colman:

That, to me, is like reading.

Olivia Colman:

Yeah, like reading a children's book.

Olivia Colman:

It's like you're reading a part of a story rather than the whole story.

Olivia Colman:

But the essence of it, that's a real head scratch, you know, it really makes you think.

Olivia Colman:

This is another reading that a lot of my couples choose if they're dog people.

Olivia Colman:

And you know me, I'm not, apart from my family dog, my best friend's dogs.

Olivia Colman:

I'm not a dog person.

Olivia Colman:

I'm not an animal person.

Olivia Colman:

But I get it that people are.

Olivia Colman:

And I support their endeavors.

Olivia Colman:

I support their hobbies.

Olivia Colman:

So, especially if you've got a dog that's coming to the ceremony, which happens.

Olivia Colman:

But if you've got a dog at home and you want to have a bit of fun, it's a bit of a light reading.

Olivia Colman:

And it's sort of in homage to your pet dog.

Olivia Colman:

It's called falling in love.

Olivia Colman:

It's like owning a dog by Taylor Molly.

Olivia Colman:

First of all, it's a big responsibility.

Olivia Colman:

So think long and hard before deciding on love, okay?

Olivia Colman:

On the other hand, love gives you a sense of security when you're walking down the street late at night and you have a leash on love, ain't no one gonna mess with you.

Olivia Colman:

Because crooks and muggers think love is unpredictable.

Olivia Colman:

Who knows what love could do in its own defense?

Olivia Colman:

On cold winter nights, love is warm.

Olivia Colman:

It lies between you and lives and breathes and makes funny noises.

Olivia Colman:

Love wakes you up all hours of the night with its needs.

Olivia Colman:

It needs to be fed so that it will grow and stay healthy.

Olivia Colman:

Love doesn't like being left alone for long.

Olivia Colman:

But come home and love is always happy to see you.

Olivia Colman:

It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life.

Olivia Colman:

Yeah, but you can never be mad at love for long.

Olivia Colman:

Is love good all the time?

Olivia Colman:

No.

Olivia Colman:

No.

Olivia Colman:

Love can be bad.

Olivia Colman:

Bad love.

Olivia Colman:

Bad.

Olivia Colman:

Very bad love.

Olivia Colman:

Love makes messes.

Olivia Colman:

And love leaves you little surprises here and there.

Olivia Colman:

And love needs a lot of cleaning up after.

Olivia Colman:

And sometimes you just want to get love fixed.

Olivia Colman:

Sometimes you want to roll up a piece of the newspaper and swat love on the nose.

Olivia Colman:

Not so much to cause pain, just to let love know.

Olivia Colman:

Don't you ever do that again.

Olivia Colman:

Sometimes love just wants to go for a nice long walk.

Olivia Colman:

Because sometimes.

Olivia Colman:

Hang on a minute.

Olivia Colman:

Sometimes love just wants to go for a nice long walk.

Olivia Colman:

Because love loves exercise.

Olivia Colman:

It runs you around the block and leaves you panting.

Olivia Colman:

It pulls you in several different directions at once.

Olivia Colman:

Or winds around and around you until you're all wound up and you can't move.

Olivia Colman:

But love makes you meet people wherever you go.

Olivia Colman:

People who have nothing in common but love.

Olivia Colman:

Stop and talk to each other on the street.

Olivia Colman:

Throw things away, and love will bring them back again and again and again.

Olivia Colman:

But most of all, love needs love.

Olivia Colman:

Lots of it.

Olivia Colman:

And in return, love loves you and never stops.

Olivia Colman:

Cute, isn't it?

Olivia Colman:

Cute, isn't it?

Olivia Colman:

This reading.

Olivia Colman:

Okay, this is going to be the last of the modern ones.

Olivia Colman:

But this reading makes me laugh, actually.

Olivia Colman:

And I heard it the first time, maybe two years ago, and I thought it was bloody brilliant.

Olivia Colman:

It's called love me when I'm old, by B.

Olivia Colman:

Rawlingson.

Olivia Colman:

Love me when I'm old and shocking peel off my elastic stockings swing me from the chandeliers let's be randy bad old dears push me around in my chromed bath chair let me tease your white chest hair scaring children, swapping dentures let us have some great adventures.

Olivia Colman:

Take me to the dogs and bingo teach me how to speak the lingo bone my eels and bring me tea show me how it's meant to be take me to your special places watching all of the puzzled faces you in shorts and socks and sandals and me with warts and huge love handles as the need for love enthralls wrestle with my damp proof smalls make me laugh without constraint buy me chocolate body paint hold me safe throughout the night when my hair has turned to white believe me when I say it's true I've waited all my life for you what's great, the first time I heard that one, it was read by an auntie or a granny or a mum, and people weren't expecting it.

Olivia Colman:

And it was really.

Olivia Colman:

People were really enjoying it.

Olivia Colman:

It was really funny.

Olivia Colman:

So those are just a few examples of modern readings.

Olivia Colman:

And like I say, it can be a movie.

Olivia Colman:

It can be from a book.

Olivia Colman:

It can be a poem.

Olivia Colman:

It can be someone on Instagram.

Olivia Colman:

It can be a famous author.

Olivia Colman:

It can be whatever you want.

Olivia Colman:

And here are some more traditional readings.

Olivia Colman:

How do I love thee?

Olivia Colman:

By Elizabeth Barrett Browning.

Olivia Colman:

How do I love thee?

Olivia Colman:

Let me count the ways.

Olivia Colman:

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach when feeling out of sight for the ends of being an ideal grace.

Olivia Colman:

I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need by sun and candlelight.

Olivia Colman:

I love thee freely as men strive for right.

Olivia Colman:

I love thee purely as they turn from praise.

Olivia Colman:

I love with a passion put to use in my old griefs and with my childhood's faith.

Olivia Colman:

I love thee with a love I seem to lose with my lost saints.

Olivia Colman:

I love thee with the breadth smiles, tears of all my life.

Olivia Colman:

If God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.

Olivia Colman:

I don't love that one, you know.

Olivia Colman:

I've just like reread it to myself.

Olivia Colman:

I thought, God, that's a bit depressing.

Olivia Colman:

Some of them are.

Olivia Colman:

Some of them are.

Olivia Colman:

But that's a more traditional one, I suppose, isn't it?

Olivia Colman:

It's not religious, but it's the way you speak it.

Olivia Colman:

You can't.

Olivia Colman:

You couldn't do that one jokey, could you?

Olivia Colman:

Like you just.

Olivia Colman:

No, you couldn't do that one with a spring in your step.

Olivia Colman:

This one, I think is traditional in that the author is traditional.

Olivia Colman:

Pam Ayres.

Olivia Colman:

If you don't know who Pam Ayres is, why bloody how would you?

Olivia Colman:

But google her.

Olivia Colman:

She's a poet, but she does quite naughty poems.

Olivia Colman:

But she's quite old school with it.

Olivia Colman:

So this is, I think, sort of a mix between the traditional reading but with a bit of humor.

Olivia Colman:

And it's called I'll marry you, my dear, by Pamez.

Olivia Colman:

Yes, I'll marry you, my dear.

Olivia Colman:

And here's the reason why.

Olivia Colman:

So I can push you out of bed.

Olivia Colman:

When the baby starts to cry to.

Olivia Colman:

And if we hear a knocking and it's creepy and it's late.

Olivia Colman:

I hand you the torch to see and you investigate.

Olivia Colman:

Yes, I'll marry you, my dear.

Olivia Colman:

You may not apprehend it, but when the tumble dryer goes, it's you that has to mend it.

Olivia Colman:

You have to face the neighbour should our Labrador attack him.

Olivia Colman:

And if a drunkard fondles me, it's you that has to whack him.

Olivia Colman:

Yes, I'll marry you.

Olivia Colman:

You're virile and you're lean.

Olivia Colman:

My house is like a pigsty.

Olivia Colman:

You can help to keep it clean.

Olivia Colman:

That sexy little dinner which you serve by candle light as I do chipolatas.

Olivia Colman:

You can cook it every night.

Olivia Colman:

It's you who will work the drill and put up curtain track.

Olivia Colman:

And when I've got PMT, it's you who gets the flack.

Olivia Colman:

I do see great advantages, but none of them for you.

Olivia Colman:

And so before you see the light.

Olivia Colman:

I do, I do, I do.

Olivia Colman:

Do you know what I mean?

Olivia Colman:

Like in the.

Olivia Colman:

In the way that that's written.

Olivia Colman:

It's quite a traditional piece, but actually it's quite funny.

Olivia Colman:

And then lastly, I would like to give you a couple of religious readings as an example.

Olivia Colman:

It doesn't.

Olivia Colman:

Unless you're really.

Olivia Colman:

Unless you're atheist and you really don't want any religion in your wedding at all.

Olivia Colman:

I do think that religious readings, not necessarily for the religious content, which sounds a bit silly, but I just think they're written quite beautifully.

Olivia Colman:

So even if you're not necessarily a religious, if you're not against the idea, then consider having a religious reading.

Olivia Colman:

Because some of them.

Olivia Colman:

Some of them don't even talk about God.

Olivia Colman:

You know, it's up to you.

Olivia Colman:

So, the most popular.

Olivia Colman:

I haven't googled it.

Olivia Colman:

I probably should have done, but the most popular wedding reading, I think probably ever, is from the Bible, and it's one corinthians, chapter 13, verses one to 13.

Olivia Colman:

You would have heard this a million times.

Olivia Colman:

But again, there's a reason why it's common.

Olivia Colman:

I'll start it and you'll roll your eyes.

Olivia Colman:

Right.

Olivia Colman:

Okay.

Olivia Colman:

Love is patient and kind.

Olivia Colman:

Love does not envy or boast.

Olivia Colman:

It is not arrogant or rude.

Olivia Colman:

It does not insist on its own way.

Olivia Colman:

It is not irritable or resentful.

Olivia Colman:

It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

Olivia Colman:

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Olivia Colman:

Love never ends.

Olivia Colman:

As for prophecies, they will pass away.

Olivia Colman:

As for tongues, they will seize.

Olivia Colman:

As for knowledge, it will pass away.

Olivia Colman:

For we know in part, and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.

Olivia Colman:

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.

Olivia Colman:

When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.

Olivia Colman:

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face.

Olivia Colman:

Now I know in part.

Olivia Colman:

Then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

Olivia Colman:

So now, faith, hope, and love abide.

Olivia Colman:

These three.

Olivia Colman:

But the greatest of these is love.

Olivia Colman:

Again, bits of it don't make much sense, but it's good, isn't it?

Olivia Colman:

It's good.

Olivia Colman:

I just wanted to.

Olivia Colman:

I honestly, I could do.

Olivia Colman:

I could recite readings to you forever.

Olivia Colman:

Which, I mean, this is.

Olivia Colman:

This is a very specific episode of the podcast, so you're probably.

Olivia Colman:

Probably had enough of me by now.

Olivia Colman:

But let me just.

Olivia Colman:

Just one more, which again, very popular, but I think also really cute.

Olivia Colman:

If you have, maybe you have a child together, or a niece or a nephew or someone a bit younger to read this one, I think it's really nice.

Olivia Colman:

And it's us two by aa Milne.

Olivia Colman:

Basically, it's the winnie the pooh one that's how you'll know it.

Olivia Colman:

Wherever I am, there's always Pooh.

Olivia Colman:

There's always Pooh in me whatever I do, he wants to do where are you going today?

Olivia Colman:

Says Pooh well, that's very odd, because I was, too.

Olivia Colman:

Let's go together, says Pooh says he.

Olivia Colman:

Let's go together, says Pooh.

Olivia Colman:

What's twice eleven, I said to Pooh.

Olivia Colman:

Twice what?

Olivia Colman:

Said Pooh to me.

Olivia Colman:

I think it ought to be 22.

Olivia Colman:

Just what I think myself, said Pooh.

Olivia Colman:

It wasn't an easy sum to do but that's what it is, said Pooh, said he.

Olivia Colman:

That's what it is, said Pooh.

Olivia Colman:

Let's look for dragons, I said to Pooh.

Olivia Colman:

Yes, let's, said Pooh to me we crossed the river and found a few.

Olivia Colman:

Yes, those dragons are all right, said Pooh as soon as I saw their beaks, I knew.

Olivia Colman:

That's what they are, said Pooh, said he.

Olivia Colman:

That's what they are, said Pooh.

Olivia Colman:

Let's frighten the dragons, I said to Pooh.

Olivia Colman:

That's right, said Pooh to me.

Olivia Colman:

I'm not afraid, I said to Pooh, and I howled his paw, and I shouted, shoo, silly old dragons.

Olivia Colman:

And off they flew.

Olivia Colman:

I wasn't afraid, said Pooh said he, I'm never afraid with you.

Olivia Colman:

So wherever I am, there's always pooh.

Olivia Colman:

There's always pooh and me.

Olivia Colman:

What would I do?

Olivia Colman:

I said to Pooh, if it wasn't for you, said Pooh.

Olivia Colman:

True.

Olivia Colman:

If it wasn't fun for one.

Olivia Colman:

But two can stick together, says Pooh.

Olivia Colman:

Says he.

Olivia Colman:

That's how it is, says Pooh.

Olivia Colman:

Cute, isn't it?

Olivia Colman:

There's so many options, and I hope that's helped.

Olivia Colman:

But honestly, just think outside the box.

Olivia Colman:

Start by googling wedding poems, because that's the obvious place to start.

Olivia Colman:

But think outside the box, and I promise you, there is a reading, a poem, a song.

Olivia Colman:

There is something out there that will make sense to you.

Olivia Colman:

Right?

Olivia Colman:

I just want to.

Olivia Colman:

Let me just grab.

Olivia Colman:

I know I said that once, the last reading, but I just want to grab the one that drew, producer drew read at my wedding.

Olivia Colman:

Okay, hang.

Olivia Colman:

Hold fire.

Olivia Colman:

I've just taken it off the wall.

Olivia Colman:

And, you know, when the paint behind a painting is a different color to the rest of the wall?

Olivia Colman:

That's cool, isn't it?

Olivia Colman:

So, if you're watching, this is the presentation reading that drew and M gave me.

Olivia Colman:

And if you're listening to the episode of the podcast, I'll show you on socials.

Olivia Colman:

So, this is the reading I can't even remember.

Olivia Colman:

I'm out of breath, man.

Olivia Colman:

This is the reading that producer drew read at my wedding.

Olivia Colman:

And I can't remember off the top of my head what it's called or who it's by, which is helpful.

Olivia Colman:

Do you remember the night the moon dropped from the sky and we ran through the forest to see where it would lie?

Olivia Colman:

I was tripping on tree roots and slipping on snow.

Olivia Colman:

And you were holding my hand saying not to let go when we found it at last, there were twigs in our hair, a rose on our cheeks and our breath in the air.

Olivia Colman:

And the words to describe it got caught in our throats as its silver lights danced through the threads of our coats.

Olivia Colman:

We knew that our eyes had not seen such a view.

Olivia Colman:

You were looking at it.

Olivia Colman:

I was looking at you.

Olivia Colman:

Boom.

Olivia Colman:

Motherf cker.

Olivia Colman:

I love that.

Olivia Colman:

I love that.

Olivia Colman:

I love that.

Olivia Colman:

Really paints a picture, doesn't it?

Olivia Colman:

You know, really paints a picture of two people in love.

Olivia Colman:

Oh, I love that.

Olivia Colman:

Right?

Olivia Colman:

I'm done.

Olivia Colman:

I'm done.

Olivia Colman:

I'm not going to read you anymore.

Olivia Colman:

Okay, I'm done.

Olivia Colman:

But if you would like to pay me to read, then I will record short stories.

Olivia Colman:

I'm open to both non erotica and erotica.

Olivia Colman:

I hope that's helpful.

Olivia Colman:

See y'all next week.

Olivia Colman:

See ya next Tuesday.

Olivia Colman:

Okay, this week's RSVP.

Olivia Colman:

The gorgeous Jessica.

Olivia Colman:

Not best friend Jessica, although she is gorgeous.

Olivia Colman:

The gorgeous Jessica has slid into my DM's and she has said.

Olivia Colman:

Hi, Olivia, love the podcast.

Olivia Colman:

Quick question for you, as I know you're super busy, but we were thinking of singing a song during our ceremony.

Olivia Colman:

What are your thoughts?

Olivia Colman:

Love it.

Olivia Colman:

Straight to the point, Jessica.

Olivia Colman:

Straight to the point.

Olivia Colman:

I think I've spoken about this before, but I think singing a song in a celebrant ceremony can be really fun.

Olivia Colman:

But it depends on a few things.

Olivia Colman:

And I'm talking like really make or break on a few things.

Olivia Colman:

One, you have to choose the right song.

Olivia Colman:

It needs to be upbeat.

Olivia Colman:

It needs to be one that everyone knows.

Olivia Colman:

I recommend song by the Beatles.

Olivia Colman:

Or what's the I love you baby and if it's quite alright I need you baby.

Olivia Colman:

That's a good one.

Olivia Colman:

So it depends a lot on the song that you choose.

Olivia Colman:

You've got to make sure it's a popular one.

Olivia Colman:

Having said that, even if you think everyone knows the words, it therefore means you have to print them out because not everyone does know the words, and nothing worse than getting the words wrong.

Olivia Colman:

So song choice is key.

Olivia Colman:

I would always position it at the end of the ceremony, because then people are stood up and they're in the mood and they're jazzed and they're pumped and they've been singing and the music's playing.

Olivia Colman:

And I'll always say to the pianist, because I do think live music with a singalong is better.

Olivia Colman:

I'll say to the musician playing, just keep sort of tinkling the ivories in the background and then I can sort of pronounce you married.

Olivia Colman:

And then it kind of works into the end of the ceremony quite seamlessly, like that.

Olivia Colman:

So pick the right song, position it in the right place in the ceremony.

Olivia Colman:

Make sure you print out the lyrics.

Olivia Colman:

Ideally you have a live musician and tell the gobbiest of all your friends that you're doing it.

Olivia Colman:

And tell them to sing up.

Olivia Colman:

And you sing up at the front and have fun with it.

Olivia Colman:

It's only going to work if you have fun with it.

Olivia Colman:

If you're embarrassed or you're shy, it's not going to work.

Olivia Colman:

And when it doesn't work, it really doesn't work.

Olivia Colman:

I hope that helps.

Olivia Colman:

Let me know any other queries do slide into my DM's.

Olivia Colman:

All right, thank you so much for listening.

Olivia Colman:

It really does mean the world.

Olivia Colman:

If you find this podcast even remotely helpful or moderately entertaining, share with all your friends and family.

Olivia Colman:

You can dm me any questions, queries?

Olivia Colman:

If you want to share any stories on the podcast Instagram, I'll marry you podcast.

Olivia Colman:

Get in touch.

Olivia Colman:

I want to hear all your tall tales.

Olivia Colman:

See you soon.

Producer Drew:

I'll marry you is a podcast by Olivia Colman.

Producer Drew:

The music is Mister Sunny face by Wayne Jones, and the show is produced and edited by Drew Toynbee.

Producer Drew:

If you want to support the show or advertise with us, don't forget to have a look for the link in our show notes.

Olivia Colman:

So it's from the film the Adam Sandler film, the wedding singer.

Olivia Colman:

And if you've seen, if you haven't seen it, it's brilliant.

Olivia Colman:

Nineties, early nineties.

Olivia Colman:

And if you have seen it, it's the song that he sings on the airplane to her.

Olivia Colman:

So it goes like this fucking sanding outside my house.

Olivia Colman:

Sorry, that's not how it goes.

Show artwork for I'll Marry You; the UK Wedding Podcast

About the Podcast

I'll Marry You; the UK Wedding Podcast
Tips and tricks from the UK wedding scene, interviews with industry experts & a whole lot of oversharing
I'll Marry You is here to bring you tips and tricks on organising your wedding, interviews and profiles on the very best people in the industry, and PLENTY of oversharing from me! I'm Olivia Coleman (no, not that one), I'm a celebrant and I am here to guide you through the crazy world of the UK wedding industry with what I'm determined to make the best UK Wedding Podcast!
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About your host

Profile picture for Drew Toynbee

Drew Toynbee

Drew is a freelance podcast editor and producer, as well as being a podcaster himself, and moving into the audiobook narration space